Warwick Bruce Chapman

A mondegreen is the mishearing or misinterpretation of a phrase as a result of near-homophony, in a way that gives it a new meaning. (eg. “pre-Madonna” instead of “prima donna”)

The unintentionally incorrect use of similar-sounding words or phrases in speaking is a malapropism. (eg. “intensive purposes” instead of “intents and purposes”)

If there is a connection in meaning, it can be called an eggcorn. (eg. “old timers” instead of “Alzheimers”)

If a person stubbornly sticks to a mispronunciation after being corrected, that can be described as mumpsimus.

Just for the sport of it, how about “reverse Mondegreens”:

Some nonsensical lyrics can be interpreted homophonically as rational text. A prominent example is Mairzy Doats, a 1943 novelty song by Milton Drake, Al Hoffman, and Jerry Livingston. The lyrics are a mondegreen and it is up to the listener to figure out what they mean.

The refrain of the song repeats nonsensical sounding lines:
Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wooden shoe

The clue to the meaning is contained in the bridge:
If the words sound queer and funny to your ear, a little bit jumbled and jivey,
Sing “Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy.”

The listener can figure out that the last line of the refrain is “A kid’ll eat ivy, too; wouldn’t you?”, but this line is sung only as a mondegreen.

Dear Friends (and mischievous others)

The media have cottoned onto this so it is the appropriate time for me to clarify publicly.

Effective end June 2013, I have resigned as a councillor of the eThekwini municipality and as Deputy Chairperson of the Democratic Alliance in KwaZulu-Natal. I have been given an opportunity to apply my professional skillset to a new position which has been created at the DA’s National Head Office in Cape Town, where I will be overseeing the party’s various information systems.

I have served the public in the capacity of ward councillor for nearly five years now. My introduction to elected politics as ward councillor for Pinetown, and then Glenwood / Umbilo was a baptism of fire. Both are challenging communities with difficult issues to fight, and know I am a better public representative for these experiences.

The media, egged on by the mischievous others, have cooked up another story about why I am leaving. Don’t worry about that. The truth boils down to me making a change for myself that allows me to make a more strategic and hopefully more effective contribution to the party and cause I signed up for in late 2007.

I have lived and worked in Ballito and Durban for the past 25+ years of my life and I look forward to the change of City, and the challenges of a new role.

The decision to resign and accept the position offered to me was extremely difficult to make. I have invested myself heavily in the challenges facing the Glenwood and Umbilo community, and in the political challenges facing the Democratic Alliance in KwaZulu-Natal. Also extremely important to me is the role I play at the Natal Settlers Memorial Homes as the head of a team of passionate individuals who have been setting that crucial social welfare organisation back on the right track over the past year.

I have thus negotiated to stay on in my current position for an additional two months in order to ensure those responsibilities are handed over as effectively and responsibly as possible.

I will miss the people of Glenwood and Umbilo, the wonderful Bulwer Park, the warm ocean and Goundens’ famous bunny chows.

At heart I will always be a Glenwood boy, and an ambassador of KwaZulu-Natal.

I remain committed to the Democratic Alliance as this country’s greatest hope for clean and effective government.

Yours faithfully
Warwick Chapman

The Speaker – eThekwini Council
Councillor Logie Naidoo
City Hall
DURBAN

15 February 2013

Dear Mr Speaker

QUESTIONS IN TERMS OF SECTION 17 OF THE RULES OF ORDER

1. Has H2O Networks been awarded a contract to connect around 200 council sites via fibre?
2. What are H2O networks being paid per metre for this contract, bearing in mind traditional cost is around R150 per metre including road reinstatements?
3. Were H2O paid around R22m for laying only 100km of fibre during 2010/11/12, ie. R220 per metre?
   1. Did H2O only use the sewer and storm water systems or did they make use of existing city-owned Metroconnect sleeves/ducts/trenches ?
   2. What percentage of traditional versus sewer/storm water system was used by H2O in this rollout?
   3. Are there sign off files for this project including full GIS data, photos and other technical details?
   4. Did H2O Networks get all the correct permissions and wayleaves to put fibre into our stormwater and sewer network?
4. Will H2O Networks be using existing municipal infrastructure in their latest deployment and if so, has their price been reduced accordingly?
5. According to the contract with H2O networks, only 10 cores of fibre on a cable are being paid for by eThekwini:
   1. Does eThekwini own these 10 cores; and
   2. Who owns the ducts that have been laid by H2O during this rollout?
6. Given the above, were eThekwini to desire changing contractors in future, how would this change be effected as it would appear that H2O may have other customers using the remaining cores of the same cables as eThekwini?
7. Do H2O networks use proprietary technology for their cable systems that will not allow anyone else to work on that cable?
   1. If yes, does the City acknowledge that this has the effect of locking eThekwini into a long-term contract with H2O that cannot be won by any other bidder in future?
8. Is H2O networks using municipal sleeves/ducts/trenches for cables that are supplying connectivity to 3rd party customers?

Yours faithfully

Councillor Warwick Chapman

The Speaker – eThekwini Council
Councillor Logie Naidoo
City Hall
DURBAN

15 February 2013

Dear Mr Speaker

NOTICE OF MOTION IN TERMS OF RULE OF ORDER 13

This council noting:
- The desire to rid the eThekwini council of corruption
- The desire for a transparent and interference free tender process in eThekwini

Resolves that:
- the Supply Chain Management policy be amended to open the proceedings of the bid adjudication committee to be observed by members of the the public.

Yours faithfully

Councillor Warwick Chapman

To the Justice Verma Committee

I visited India in 2009 and to this day consider it the most interesting and friendly country I have ever visited. I would return in an instant if the opportunity arose.

India is known the world over for its association with peace, spirituality and vibrance. The Satyagraha that Mr Gandhi developed while in my country, South Africa, was pivotal to your nation’s own independence.

When I visited in 2009, it was clear then that, not unlike my own country, the general populace were beginning to grow very concerned with the disconnect between those elected to lead the country and the needs of the people. Corruption and all the ills associated with it seem to be a growing trend in developing countries like ours.

In South Africa we are just emerging from possibly the deadliest festive season in history as far as traffic fatalities are concerned, with an estimated 1600 people to have been killed on our roads in the past month. Corruption and poor management are to blame, with Police not doing enough about drunk and reckless driving, and other departments failing in their duty to keep unroadworthy vehicles off the roads.

I use this example because it shows how a government that no longer has its finger on the pulse, a government which is focused on political games and self-enrichment, is a government which does little to make the lives of their citizens, most especially the poor, any better.

The grotesque crime against Jyoti Singh Pandey in your country has been closely followed in mine. South Africa has one of the highest incidence of rape in the world and it is said that nearly two thirds of all South African men are rapists, just worse than the around one quarter of Indian men.

Rape in South Africa is another example of a serious issue which affects the lives of South Africans significantly and yet goes relatively unaddressed by our elected leaders. I expect our leaders to speak out on a regular basis about rape, gender discrimination, and the broader ills affecting our society caused by corruption but they do not.

But far more than that, in the second decade of the 21st century, it is high time that leaders started to actively do something about these crimes. The ability and willingless of our respective government machinery to investigate and prosecute rape cases leaves much to be desired. Often far more debilitating than the lack of competent forensic facilities, is the attitude of the investigators and other officials to the crime. Too many men regard rape as something that women must just get over, and far too many more regard rape as something that certain women ask for.

To that I say the following: “Rape is not something that happens to a certain type of woman. Rape is something perpetrated by a certain type of man.”

We need to sensitise our societies and sharpen our law enforcement to the point where the most despised and most harshly punished individuals are the perpetrators of rape.

A political leader who has an interest in maintaining access to the levers of power they so desire would do well to take this and related issues very seriously going forward. The Arab Spring of the past two years has shown the world that the general populace of any country, especially the youth, will tolerate only so much before they revolt. We needn’t ever learn that lesson again.

Please consider signing the petition here and sending an email to the Justice Verma Commission yourself.

Faithfully
Warwick Chapman
eThekwini, South Africa